Are you pressing and holding the button in the car to turn it off while driving after making the tweak?
People don't do that, you're misunderstanding what it's used for. Don't disable the XDS, it helps the car to corner better by braking an inside wheel or two to increase the rotational speed.
I agree that's what it does, but owning and tracking both a 2018 S and a 2019, I can tell you that XDS absolutely cooks the front brakes, wheel bearings, wheels, tires on a car without VAQ on track. Sure the car turned in better, but you'll seriously damage your car tracking longterm with it on. I 100% agree with you on the street. For VAQ equipped cars, the theory is that it helps load the diff and XDS doesn't seem to heat up the front brakes on the VAQ equipped car.