I've had a few complaints in to the dealership about the DSG on my '18 R, but nothing has been done so far. Specifically it's the 2nd to 3rd gear shift that just annoys the hell out of me so much that I have begun to hate driving the car. The very few times the DSG behaves I start to forgive it, but the problem now happens about 90% of the time. Sometimes its more pronounced and other times it is subtle. The trouble is I am so keyed into the issue that even the subtle shit shifts I notice. And it just frustrates me so much. Race mode generally has no issues shifting, neither does manual mode. It's just the Standard mode.
Rob
TL;DR - Was experiencing harsh 2-3 shift since new in my 19 R. Eventually odd-gear clutch started slipping and failed. DSG clutches replaced by dealer and reprogrammed and for now the problem appears to be gone.
I was experiencing the same harsh 2-3 shift, predominantly in race mode with manual shifting, since the day I bought the car. There is a corner I took regularly in my DSG GTI in 2nd gear, shifting up to third around 3,500-4,000 rpm without issue. In the R, I took the same corner on my way back from the dealer and shifted into third at similar rpm and the car shifted very harshly with a loud thunk. The first 9k miles in the car, this harsh 2-3 shift was always there in the same driving conditions (race mode, manual). I read of a software fix for ROW cars, but unfortunately not enough people are complaining in the US to get them to certify the fix.
Now this is where things got interesting for me. A little over a month ago at 9k miles, the odd-gear clutch started to slip under medium loads on the highway. Rolling into mid throttle in 3rd, 5th and 7th gears on the highway from 2,000-2,500 rpm up resulted in the revs climbing and dropping as the car began to accelerate, much like a slipping clutch, but with a pulsing rhythm to the rise and fall on the tach as the mph increased. I took the car to the dealer, drove them around in the car and showed them a video of what was happening in 7th gear on a wide open freeway (Los Angeles area so I the freeway was packed and nowhere to get to speed in 7th gear).
Ultimately the dealer replaced both DSG clutches and ran the adaptation/programming. This process took over a month due to difficulty sourcing the parts and the current COVID situation. I got the car back day before yesterday and compared to the car when new, the shifting is much smoother in all modes and I have not been able to get it to repeat the harsh 2-3 shift. I've only put about 50 miles on the car since picking it up, and am treating it like a new car break in, so I can't confirm it doesn't reappear when driving aggressively. But I will say that compared to the day I brought the car home from the dealer during break in, it is a night and day difference.
I'll definitely update this post if the problem comes back in 1000 miles when I can drive a bit more aggressively. Prior to replacing the clutches I did also notice a distinct burning clutch smell if I drove it a bit harder, such as after a pull through the gears. Since it was the odd-gear clutch that failed, I do wonder if something is not programmed correctly at the factory in regards to the adaptation which causes the harsh 2-3 shift and also led to that clutch failing in my car.