I may be not understanding fully what you're saying, but I think the bold sentence here contradicts itself. For the transmission mount - you are correct, all 4 holes on the frame side stay in place, but the three large bolts that go through the mount into the transmission can move. the holes are much larger than the diameter of the bolts. Referencing the ETKA diagram you provided, the only way to ensure dimension x and x remain parallel is to move the engine.It shouldn't matter on the side to side placement of the mount if you are only doing one mount at a time, the engine is not moving, your mount is. All four threaded holes on the engine and frame side stay in the same place. You can move the mount either way, but the threaded holes you're putting the bolts into haven't moved. I could see if you had them both off for whatever reason, then you would need the measurements to center the drivetrain again.
Your engine mount doesn't look right, either.
Put the car up on four jackstands, with the body level. Loosen, but do not remove, every bolt. Start with the dogbone. Remove the dogbone bolt. Push, pull, pry, nudge, holler at the assembly so that you can reinsert the dogbone bolt without tension on it. It should thread in cleanly and torque up correctly. Then line up the transmission mount with the bolts loose, and lightly snug it up. Check the engine mount alignment. It should be parallel with the attachment points fore and aft. If the arm isn't perfectly centered in the fender bolt, I don't think it matters much. Mine is off by 1mm and it's fine. What matters is that the engine and transmission mounts are square to the drivetrain and the bolts are not under tension. Once it all looks good, torque to spec.
I did not remove, or even back off, the dogbone bolt when I put mine in. There's enough flex in that assembly to get the mounts lined up. It acts as a pivot point to help keep the drivetrain in line. I also did not like lifting the drivetrain by the oil pan using a block. It scared the crap out of me. I used the transmission bellhousing for both sides.
Others here have a lot more experience than me, so take this FWIW. Good luck.
Whats wrong with the engine mount? The base of the mount is parallel with the chassis. I may not have taken the best picture, but based on what I previously read, its pretty much to spec (10mm gap between the mount and engine bracket, etc). Also, keep in mind I have the BFI dogbone insert as well.
I have the car up on a quickjack. Its as level as I can get it (damn near level). Now are you suggesting that I get all the mounts at least threaded and tightened down but loosen them all with just weight support on the DSG housing with a jack? and then basically shift the entire engine/tranny assembly until it all lines up? That goes against pretty much most of the consensus which is tranny-engine-dogbone install, in that order.
That looks a lot better. It could probably be twisted back a little bit CCW but NBD. How does the fender bolt look?