But I still would like to hear from anyone taking the plunge for an R estate to understand their decision making / rational.
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I'll try
I currently have an M5 f10 and the lease finishes in October and I'm hopefully changing tactics again from a do everything to a "sensible" car and a more toy orientated one. It's been/is great but going to a 3 series would definitely feel as down grading whereas the golf feels completely different so doesn't seem as bad in this respect (I ran a mk7 GTI PP last year and always enjoyed the drive).
Regards quicker, there's probably not much in it between the R and the 335D mentioned above but if looking at the figures the R is a bit quicker to 100mph and makes most of this up from 60-100mph as the 3 is quicker to 60. Here's a couple of sites with tests on each (assuming the estate will be close to the hatch) -
http://fastestlaps.com/cars/vw_golf_r_mk7.html
http://www.automobile-catalog.com/car/2013/1913060/bmw_335d_xdrive.html
I assume this is because the 3 has very long gearing to get it's mpg which the greater torque can't compensate for in raw speed.
Gearboxes - I prefer dsg/twin clutch gearboxes to full autos which the 3 is, it's good but not as good imho.
MPG, definitely better on the 3 but at approx 16k miles over 2 years it won't be a deciding factor for me.
Looks is subjective but they're both nice looking cars to me, the R in lapiz looks very nice - worth having a look at the youtube vids to give a better view, especially the rear 3/4 view.
Finally lease costs, the R to my spec (lapiz plus dcc) is £8400 total cost over 2 years, the 3 will be greater than 10k possibly closer to 11k or more (adjustable shocks, xenons, sportplus pack).
So that's my reasoning, not expecting everyone to agree but it's the man maths I've used to keep myself happy.
ps GolfDave - I saw your estate at the Tescos in Inverness last week, looked clean!