TERRIBLY, terribly sorry to hear that man --- I realize you may not be looking on here much. After 7 years, I know what a kick in the balls that can be (I had it happen 3 years ago) ...
East Coast isn't THAT cheap, at least now your major cities (Boston, NYC, DC, etc) ... rural CT, ME, or RI the cost of living is much cheaper, but you'll need to hood some serious miles into a hub of commerce ... I dont know what your line of work is though. Mid-west may be mor cost friendly-- like Columbus, OH and surrounding area.
Brutal , no matter how you slice it. I hope you have some kind of reprieve, or maybe find something on the fly local to you know, and can take care of your wife and kids with no worries.
best wishes and luck meng.