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Old 03-13-2019, 03:38 AM   #35
randomhobo130
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My wife couldn't believe me when I told I wasn't an electrician.
Boy, was she shocked...

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Old 03-18-2019, 04:48 PM   #36
overmonk
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A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender says "Hey buddy, why the long face?"

The horse says "My alcoholism is destroying my family."
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Old 03-18-2019, 05:03 PM   #37
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knock knock
































who's there?


























smell mop


























smell mop who?


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Old 03-18-2019, 05:17 PM   #38
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What do you get when you cross a Pirate and a Pedophile?














































Arrrrrrrrrrrrr Kelly
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Old 06-10-2019, 11:02 PM   #39
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What is a Pirate's favorite letter in the alphabet?

(most people say "R")

Noooo.. Tis the "C" they love!!! (you have to say it with a fist pump)
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Old 06-11-2019, 12:00 AM   #40
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Two whales walk into a bar.

The first one says ""WOOOOOOWWWWWWWOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEE WWOWOAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOO"

The second says "What the hell is wrong with you Frank"
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Old 06-11-2019, 01:53 AM   #41
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A gay guy goes to his doctor for his annual wellness check up. Doc says he loooks fine and does he have any questions. Gay guy says I would love to have luxurious chest hairs like my partner. Doc says, no problem. Just rub Vaseline in your chest at night before you go to sleep. Gay guy says, “That’s it?”, doc says yep.
Guy goes home, he and his buddy are laying in bed getting ready to go to sleep and he starts rubbing Vaseline all over his chest, his buddy says, “What the hell are you doing?”
He tells his buddy the doc said it would grow hair, his buddy says, “You damn idiot, if Vaseline grew hair you would have a ponytail growing out your asshole”!
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Old 06-11-2019, 09:57 PM   #42
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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves?



Russell
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Old 06-11-2019, 09:57 PM   #43
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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs at your doorstep?



Matt
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Old 06-11-2019, 09:58 PM   #44
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What you call a guy with no arms or legs being pulled behind a boat?



Skip
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Old 06-11-2019, 09:59 PM   #45
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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs at the bottom of a hole?



Phil
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Old 06-12-2019, 02:57 AM   #46
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Are we doing this?

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake?

Bob.
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Old 06-12-2019, 03:52 AM   #47
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I'll smoke a big fat turd in hell for this one:

What is the toughest part of a vegetable to eat?






The wheelchair.
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Old 06-12-2019, 04:42 AM   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shortybdub View Post
I'll smoke a big fat turd in hell for this one:

What is the toughest part of a vegetable to eat?






The wheelchair.
Start smoking.
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Old 06-14-2019, 07:50 AM   #49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shortybdub View Post
I'll smoke a big fat turd in hell for this one:

What is the toughest part of a vegetable to eat?






The wheelchair.
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Old 06-15-2019, 09:12 PM   #50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shortybdub View Post
I'll smoke a big fat turd in hell for this one:

What is the toughest part of a vegetable to eat?






The wheelchair.
I lol'd

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Old 06-21-2019, 08:31 PM   #51
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A limbo champion walks into a bar.

He was disqualified.
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