I decided to take a short drive today. Since the issue reintroduced itself this past Friday 1/22, it has not come back. All of the codes are still stored and not cleared from the ECU, but even the check engine light has turned back off. Car just drove perfectly fine today, zero issues. It has been a nasty couple of days of rain, freezing rain, and snow, and I purposely parked the car outside this week as we are moving and staging the move in the garage. So moisture didn't provoke the issue.
On Friday 1/22 it was pretty brutally cold... wondering if cold is bringing about a bad connection somewhere, who knows...
Thats about all i've got, and if you don't hear from me in this thread again the dealer diagnostic went poorly and I drove it off a cliff. Dropping it off Thursday afternoon as they will have a loaner available then. I will ask specifically about can gateway as well as an updated VCDS scan showing the time stamps and if its still showing the same initial code.
Please keep the wild theories coming, it's been entertaining and helpful.