Hang on, your terms are misleading. No one has fly by wire steering, it's just electric vs hydraulic boost, there's still very much a physical connection between the steering wheel, steering rack and front wheels in every car. And the M2 and M240i both have EPS, but different ZF motors, so there is a different feel, but not a different method. The 1M had HPS, but then so did the 135i.My point is, when manufactures moved from hydraulic to 'fly by wire' a lot of them put no effort into making a 'better user experience'.
My brother has a M240i for example, but the tuning of the steering compared to the M2 is numb. He mentioned my fly by wire steering in the R is WAY better than his M240i because you never know exactly where the wheels are. There is no feedback to the user - that can easily be incorporated by putting some resistance and tuning it. Another terrible example is Infiniti/Nissan and what makes the Porsche 911 that much more better of a drive then a GT-R. Add that type of feedback to the gas pedal or brake pedal as well. So for EVs I get the instant torque thing, so the gas pedal is the biggest issue. The brakes though felt very number where it felt like a 50% or 100% - maybe it was the Model 3 I had, but where I believe the hydraulic based R's you have that broad range depending on how much pressure you apply
Infiniti has been the only company to actually offer brake by wire, it's an option on the G70 and it has a comical physical backup system anyway. It is remarkably bad though, which is why they offer a normal hydraulic setup too. Tesla, like every other company not named Infiniti uses a hydraulic brake setup with a master cylinder connected directly to the pedal on one side and the calipers on the other. It's the one piece of a Tesla that needs regular maintenance though, and Elon has mentioned frequently that he'd like to find a work around, but he's also said that the backup requirements do not make it worthwhile to do brake by wire. What you're likely feeling in odd brake pedal feel of EV's and hybrids is the regenerative braking effect which allows the electric motors to provide the majority of braking force, but there's still very much a traditional hydraulic brake system in every EV and hybrid.