MK7 Confessions

[Rojito]

 

[Diggs24]

oh hell no

 

[EpicTech]

My HOA is fine with washing the car. You can't work on it in driveway, and aren't even supposed to work on them in the garage, but everyone does and no one cares. Several neighbors have lifts in 3rd bay and we all work on our cars. Snitches get stitches.

The HOA makes you submit a $75 application to get approval for ANY change to landscaping, driveway, facade, trim, paint color, farting in the yard, any and everything. What's crazy is the wife array of colors they've approved. There is a dark brown, a black, a tennis ball colored, and a puke green house. It appears they will approve anything, they just want their $75. And they have 2 old men that drive around in a golf cart, with the on file picture of your house, looking for anything that's different, then fining you.

You have to be kidding right? Jeezus now I want to move my house shopping to outside city limits. Your house should be your rules. That HOA bs sounds suspiciously like some kind of military mandate.

 

[GTI Jake]

Not much of a confession, but I find myself driving the wife’s GLI more often lately. Not to work or anything, but running the kids around.

 

[draftgli]

You have to be kidding right? Jeezus now I want to move my house shopping to outside city limits. Your house should be your rules. That HOA bs sounds suspiciously like some kind of military mandate.

Not long after I moved in with my wife (she owned this dump before we got together), we were cited for some violation (can’t remember what). What followed was this (paraphrased) exchange with an HOA employee:

Me: This is our house, we’ll do what we see fit.

HOA douchebag: Do what you see fit, but if it violates the rules, we will have to fine you.

Me: Go ahead. I won’t pay it.

HOA douchebag: No problem. We’ll just put a lien on your property. You won’t be able to sell until you pay your fine(s).

 

[Cuzoe]

A really good friend of ours was in an accident, DUI in which their car was totaled. Their lawyer says an Interlock Device will look good when their court date comes up. So my Mk7 has an interlock, gotta breathe sober to drive. DMV doesn't care who the car is registered to, they just sign the form saying an interlock is installed. Our friend doesn't know how to drive a manual, I don't drink and my wife is pregnant... it's ridiculous .

HOA needs its own thread, haha...

Spoiler: My HOA Shenanigans

• Garage doors can only be opened when entering/exiting... $25 fine if reported open and verified by "another" party more than one hour later
• No car repairs can be made in the garage... even though the door would be closed, per the above rule
  • Got a warning for this when my car was torn apart for months, we always go out of the garage to leave, someone snitched
  • Zoom hearing, argued and won the literal interpretation that mods are not repairs, nothing on my car was broken at any point
• Front porch lights have to be on at night... whatever, they're on auto light sensor
• Patio light also has to be on at night... patio is private, in the front, off of the living room, with 6ft walls
  • We use our deck out back, but I've only ever been on the patio to throw leaves/pine needles back over the wall (blown under by the landscapers)
  • For months I would find new LED bulbs sitting on top of the wall, I just took them inside and used them where needed... apparently that was HOA passive aggressively telling us the patio light needed to be on
  • Eventually got a fine and invitation to a Zoom hearing to discuss why our light was never on... told them the switch didn't work and to send someone to fix it if they wanted the light on
  • Then I took the ground wire off the switch, which the electrician they sent found and "fixed," now the light stays on all the time... fine was dropped
• Rear deck overhangs the garage, so when they re-did the deck they needed access to the garage for a week to replace the beams
  • Wife was out of town so I parked her car in an out of the way guest spot for the week, just parked my car in any open spot when I came home each night
  • They put a "ticket" on her car saying it would be towed for being in guest parking for over 48 hours (mind you they know it's our car, we register them every year)
  • Told them if they towed they would be paying the tow fee, the parking fee, and the fee to have it towed back after the deck repairs were done, since the HOA is why I didn't have a garage to park in
  • A**hats said the deck repair did not give me permission to violate other HOA rules and I should find street parking outside of the complex where I could leave her car
  • Requested an "emergency" Zoom hearing where 1 person on the board agreed with me, and told the rest of them to piss off basically...
    • Half the board members (mostly retirees that have lived in the complex forever) have garages so full of crap that you can't pull a car in
    • They always use guest parking, but "respect the rules" by moving their cars around at least once every other day

 

[JC_451]

In my case:

1. A variance application doesn’t cost money. However, they are rigid about colors and styles. Best case there are 2 colors and/or styles to choose from. In most cases, there’s only 1.

2. We have the same idiots riding around in a golf cart with clipboards, looking for any little violation to get you on.

3. There are signs everywhere that read:

a) No soliciting (yay!)
b) No skateboarding or rollerblading (I don’t see the harm)
c) No smoking (yes, they’re talking about outdoors). They can’t legislate what goes on inside units, so I guess if one wants to smoke…it’s permissible to do so inside. Surely the neighbors won’t smell it.

4. My neighbors have giant directv dishes mounted on poles driven in their lawn. I was told I cannot do this, as the lawn on my side of the sidewalk is a shared space. Right.

Edit: how could I forgot my personal fav?

Living in western NY, it’s no secret we get hammered with snow in the winter. HOA is responsible for snow removal on the property - roads, sidewalks, stoops, everything. So one day I went to leave home for work. It was maybe 1030am, the day after a bad snow storm. When I got out to my car, it was completely buried. And the road next to it was unplowed. It took me the better part of 45 min to dig it out. I emailed the HOA coordinator and bitched. She told me to buy snow tires.

I regularly have to shovel the walkway in front of my unit(and all the way to the parking lot) since I don't want to walk through the snow just so I can clean off my car for the next morning.

Obviously the association is supposed to take care of this, and they do, but I can't wait til the crew shows up 10 hours after it's done snowing.

 

[draftgli]

I regularly have to shovel the walkway in front of my unit(and all the way to the parking lot) since I don't want to walk through the snow just so I can clean off my car for the next morning.

Obviously the association is supposed to take care of this, and they do, but I can't wait til the crew shows up 10 hours after it's done snowing.

I feel your pain.

 

[sterkrazzy]

View attachment 227072

That's ballsy. There were 2 parking spots left at the DMV today. I backed into one. Realized the car to my left had the drivers door on my side and then the car to my right had backed in so their driver side door would also open towards my car. Then I looked ahead of me and the other parking spot had the drivers doors on the opposite sides, so I pulled into that spot hoping neither of those people had passengers.

I put too much thought into this shit...

 

[GTIfan99]

Yeah HoAs can be good and bad. I'm glad we don't have one but also sort of wish we did as there was a house on the block that was completely dilapidated. The siding had algae on it and was rotting. Driveway was just rocks it was so far gone. Front porch sat at 20 degree slant. They had ducks that would nest in the front yard (but there are no ponds here?!?!) which was just weird but I guess they liked the "lawn" was just a huge shaded patch of dirt. They had never trimmed the trees so it was impossible for anything to grow. I guess whomever lived there finally died or went to an old folks home because it went up for sale. The listing was funny "House needs a complete gut and remodel. This is not a DIY project. As is. Cash only." No interior pics so you know it was bad. Someone bought it and they are still working on it 6 months later. I'm sure their neighbors are elated, because fuck me, it was bad.

It's not all bad, they do as great job with maintaining 6 pools, 14 of the nicest clay tennis courts I've ever played on (I've played since I was 5), 3 pickleball courts, RV storage, a boat ramp, 3 fishing docks, dozens of play grounds, basketball courts, fish stocked ponds in the middle of almost every block and landscaping on almost entry corner. The only think you have to pay beyond the $1200/ year HOA is for the 18 hole golf course. There's no minimum at the restaurant/ club house like a lot of the communities around here.

They just want they're fees, other than that, they mostly leave you alone. I've had 2 notices in 8 years. One for changing the color of the front door from what was on file. The color was close enough I didn't think they'd even notice, but they did. They really just wanted the fee. The other was to pressure wash, and they were 100% right, I had just been putting it off, so not a big deal.

 

[ZERO815]

Paint the springs black.

Too late but I was thinking about it too.

 

[draftgli]

It's not all bad, they do as great job with maintaining 6 pools, 14 of the nicest clay tennis courts I've ever played on (I've played since I was 5), 3 pickleball courts, RV storage, a boat ramp, 3 fishing docks, dozens of play grounds, basketball courts, fish stocked ponds in the middle of almost every block and landscaping on almost entry corner. The only think you have to pay beyond the $1200/ year HOA is for the 18 hole golf course. There's no minimum at the restaurant/ club house like a lot of the communities around here.

They just want they're fees, other than that, they mostly leave you alone. I've had 2 notices in 8 years. One for changing the color of the front door from what was on file. The color was close enough I didn't think they'd even notice, but they did. They really just wanted the fee. The other was to pressure wash, and they were 100% right, I had just been putting it off, so not a big deal.

Doesn’t sound too terrible.

Jealous that you have clay courts (and 14 of them!). We have 2 hard courts, that’s it. And the last time they were resurfaced, they painted PB lines on them. So now we constantly have to readjust the nets from the PB crowd messing with them. You know, the gift that keeps on giving.

A couple years ago, I taught a couple private lessons on our courts (maybe 3 over the course of the entire summer?). Naturally one day a board member walked over and asked if I was teaching. I implied that it was none of her business what I was doing. Her feathers clearly ruffled, she raised her voice and exclaimed that if I was teaching, it was a violation of HOA rules. I’d say I was surprised but…

Edit: In fairness, I knew that teaching here was against the rules - I just chose to ignore it (like many of my neighbors do with all kinds of rules- parking, garbage, you name it). HOA claims the no teaching rule exists due to liability concerns. Which, on its face, is understandable. What they don’t know is that I am a certified instructor and I carry insurance which covers injuries to participants and me, and damage to property. If they didn’t have their heads so far up their asses, I could run a summer camp here and make them a ton of money. But, they’re such paranoid dingleberries, I haven’t bothered to ask.

 

[RisingFallens]

My HoA just started allowing chickens!

 

[StorableComa]

Yes, it builds up gunk around the sensor resulting in the car telling you to refill the washer level regardless of your fluid level.

Was it the orange no freeze stuff? The MK6 had issues with that stuff too. The normal green/blue stuff doesn't seem to affect it. Granted I live in Cali and use Bug off.

 

[GTIfan99]

My HoA just started allowing chickens!

Your HOA is really the devil. Lol

Fuck chickens.