I'd go straight back to stock and see how it does. You're not talking at wot shifts. Ruling out anything aftermarket should always happen first imo.
I've worked on 2 dsg and 2 tq converter types. They all exhibited different symptoms, but hard shifts, laggy shifts, snappy shifts (like it's trying to shift and can't then suddenly shifts and feels like it got the rpm point wrong), grinding noises, and high rpm before shifting were common to at least two of them. To me it sounds like you're dealing with lag in between clutch actuation, which could be due to the pump losing some pressure from low fluid or trapped air bubble.
Just make sure to get your transmission fluid as hot as possible before doing the drain. The temp does drop a lot, so if you were on the edge of it, it may not be an accurate fill. Just drive around shifting up and down at higher rpm. More rpm=more force=more friction=more heat.