2017 VW Golf R
Rhode Island
2017 VW Golf R


2016 GTI w/ EQT Vortex & FBO
Currently custom tuning with EQT & Sneeky -
Can read about the experiences here.
Who Fucking Knows Anymore
My Datazap with all my logs

-here's the cake you wanted, but now only lick the frosting-

When I was thirty, I met a Brazilian woman named Michelle. She had massive tits, a relatively pretty face, a forehead that was too big and a c-section scar above her vag. She also had a bunch of tattoos and believed in some sort of demonic angel religion. But man, those tits. Anyway, she was a waitress at a strip club in New Jersey; she came to America illegally - some dyke from Toronto appeared at this strip club, fell in love and offered to marry Michelle so that she "could help her out" and get Canadian papers. Michelle followed through for the promise of giving her daughter, who was still in Brazil, with her mother, a better life. I met Michelle at a bar called "resposado". We hit it off, made out in the bathroom and went on a date the next night. We got tipsy - I drove a supercharged Acura CSX Type-S at the time; Michelle made comments about the blower; later that night she also became a blower. We fucked a few times in my condo in the next couple of weeks, and one night, she invited me over for a threesome with her dyke wife. I knew that this was bad news, but man, those tits. I came over and entered a scene with these two broads dildoing each other - my kind of night. I tried to get involved a few times but the dyke wife would not let me, and told me to go sit on the chair opposite of the bed and masturbate. I did. But not for long. I got upset rather quickly that I couldn't participate; Michelle said sorry. I said that's ok. I got up and went to the fridge. I made myself a sandwich with prosciutto, philadelphia cream cheese and avocado. The bread was wondrebread, which was shit and ruined the sandwich for me. I went back to the chair, ate the sandwich while these two dildoed each other. At one point Michelle was bent over and I put my thumb in her ass with my left hand while I ate the sandwich with the right. I left shortly thereafter. The next morning I wrote my GMAT and got a 720. I met up with Michelle a few times more and we fell out of touch. She wasn't too into anal, and well, that's a no go for me, but man, those tits. Sandwiches.

Moral of the story, I didn't choose to fuck your mom.

Fuck that, I'm not ending up on some podcast because I was murdered by the pee pee night tickler.


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