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NSFW?

The Fed

Old Guys Rule
Location
Florida
A couple of us local retired types from the Senior Center were asked to address a high school gathering put on by the PTA. As luck would have it, I was the only speaker to show up, so I had the stage to myself.

I talked about staying in school, getting good grades and all that usual bullshit; and since I had plenty of time because those other guys didn't show, I threw it open for questions. The last one asked was, "Can you give us a couple of your life's philosophical beliefs?”

I said, “That’s an easy one. Looking back over my 6+ decades, I believe I've spent close to 90% of my earnings on booze and whores. The rest I just wasted.”

I was escorted out without getting to finish my last two rules to live by:

1) If it flies, floats, or fucks, it’s cheaper to rent it!
2) If it’s got tits or tires, you’re gonna have problems with it.

I hope they invite me back next year so I can finish.

Kids need to know this stuff.
 

Obsrvr

Ready to race!
Location
USA
Fed, we need to send you to speak at Berkeley a.k.a. Berzerkely. Bring all your guns and any kevlar protection you might have. You will definitely cause riots. I will be glad to video the whole thing, from a safe distance, of course.
 
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